alecto - your little bluejay (pollytrance) wrote,
alecto - your little bluejay
pollytrance

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In Ancient Times When You Were Sick, They'd Make You Bleed

Apparently, Mya doesn't want to rave anymore. All of this news gets to me in such a way that this month is making me plummet into the dark chambers of what I thought I had escaped. My horoscope said this month would be especially trying, and the girl that read it to me said, "I don't like that one, it's sad."

At least I know what I am in for.

So last night we went to Superfriends. It took forever and a day for the info line to post directions and to tell about the ticket situation.

We called and called and called and Stefan said he would tape Adult Swim for me, so I wanted to run over to his house to drop off the tape before we left. Finally we got tired of waiting for the info line to give us the goods, so we just left and went to his house.

He was baked beyond all belief and depressed because his car wasn't working because his tinkering with it proved to be detrimental. Katie wasn't having a very fabulous night either, so it felt like the world was ending. We got all the way to his house and I discovered that I had forgotten the tape at my house in all my haste. So I gave him this little Space Ghost keychain that I bought that had candy inside it.

I told my mom that I liked him and she wasn't pleased. She never wanted me to like him because she doesn't approve. All the forces in the world are opposed to the idea of an us. His ex called him today and he was all happy about it. I would put money down saying that they are probably no longer ex's.

So at Stefan's, directions were established and people were called and it turned out that Ish and Willy were going to be there as well, and so was Sam... Katie's boyfriend from LA.

We went and picked up Jessica and then went to First Street to meet Ish and then to American Canyon to pick up Desiree and her friend Henry from LA.

Then we went onto the party, which turned out to be an hour and a half away, in Rancho Cordova. They were so full of shit when they said it was accessible to Bay Area kids. It was accessible to LUCKY Bay Area kids.

So we got there around midnight and I was a dollar short of the presale price. They let me in anyway because all was full of love, and Ish lent Jessica three dollars so that she too could join the festivities.

For the first few hours we were all having the time of our lives-- dancing, sweating, waving glow sticks, mingling, touching the rollers, exploring the venue.

And then I fell out of the good times. All of my endorphins were lost somewhere between Dance Dance Revolution and the Galaxy Club. Katie was with her boyfriend, Jessica had found a young, sober scamp to cuddle with, Lindsay was even chopping it up with a young, attractive male specimen from Sacramento.

Then I started to wonder what was wrong with me. I was single. I was all dressed up. The guy that I love turned me down for the night because his ex had ruined raves for him. It was very pathetic and selfish, but at the end of the night I was sitting there and chit-chatting and feeling sorry for myself. The high point of the evening was when this adorable, cuddly little raver girl (I don't know why I say little, she was taller and probably older than me) gave me candy because she liked the butterflies in my hair. She told me I was cute and we took a picture together.

Then I got sick... and we had to go. I felt like such a stupid cunt because I tore up everyone else's fun. I should have just gone into the bathroom and come out when it was over, and then I wouldn't have ruined anything.

I did, however, find Jessica's cell phone, so I was the hero. Of course, it's not like anyone noticed because when I gave it to her she said, "Cool." and then went back to talking to her newfound boy toy, and I, feeling incredibly invisible, went outside to wait and mope.

Lindsay came and tried to cheer me up, but I swear to God I was so down that I was questioning my existence for the bazillionth time in my life.

We went to get gas and I ended up French-kissing some guy who was most likely on drugs and who I had only been talking to for ten minutes. My only condolence was the fact that he asked for my phone number before the kiss.

We got home at six am, tired, sweating, reeking. Katie decided to just drive home. She is sleep-deprived to the maximum degree.

I had to clean my room to make sleeping arrangements for Lindsay and Jessica. At 6.30 that was the last thing I wanted to do.

My mom took Jessica to work at ten and Lindsay and I slept until one. Then Lindsay went home around three-thirty and from there my day was a blur.

I fought a lot with my family and screamed like a banshee and really all I wanna do now is either crawl into a hole and die, or kill myself out in the open.

I have skool tomorrow and I don't want to go just because my mother said I had to. This was like sophomore year. If you are dead, you don't have to go to skool.

Fuck.

5000.
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