I have only been to school one day this week and it sucks. I thought this year would be different but I was wrong. I didn't go to skool today. I was too sick and tired. I am still sick and tired but no way was I going to stay at home when it was Friday night and Zim was on and Stefan asked me over.
When he called me he asked me if I was still coming over, and I said that I didn't have to, I could just give him the tape and then leave (because it was to be me, him, Aaron, Lindsay and Avery, crowded house) but he told me there was no way that I could weasel out of it. That makes me intensely happy. So I got ready and then waited outside and they were late as they always are, but this night it was no small deal because Fridays are ZIM!!
I got in the car and promptly started to space out and stare out the window... the tape I made for him was playing and I was absent-mindedly singing along when suddenly I was pulled out of my daze because Stefan was staring at me. I realised how idiotic I must have looked and started laughing. He then said to me, "You look really cool tonight, I just wanted you to know that." He is so adorable, I love that boy to smithereens.
So we get to his house and the tape is all cued up and we weren't late for Zim, we got it all. Aaron got pissed because we started talking in the middle of a Zim episode and he yelled at us to "Conversate later!!".
Zim was good. Except it was about babies, and babies have been haunting me lately.
So then when Zim was over, Lindsay and Avery came over and we all went outside so that the smokers could smoke. I chilled outside sucking on my hot pink Push Pop while everyone had their respective cigarettes and Aaron went home. Lindsay and I tried to get Stefan to sing the Lovecats but he wouldn't do it.
So then we went back inside and milled around and conversed until it was 12.00 and Lindsay and Avery had to take their leave. Avery and I are actually on sort of friendly terms, which is a relief. Really though, I have absolutely no problem with him, and why I hated him before escapes me.
So they left and Stefan and I just chilled out and listened to music and he fixed his crack whore necklace, and we talked, and tickled each other and played with his slap bracelet. He was using me as a pillow for a while and then we ended up laying there, me with my head on his chest and him with his arms around me trying to tickle my waist.
He finally decided to bite me and see how it felt. He bit me on the waist and I squirmed around in terror and laughter. He bit me on the neck.
I wanted to kiss him. My shirt smells like him. He petted me while we were laying together because my velvet goes the right way.
I love him. I love him too much to kiss him. After Lindsay and Avery left he sang Lovecats, record and all. He said he couldn't do it in front of an audience. While they were outside smoking he had his arm around my waist.
I just wish I had some idea of what my boundaries were. I would be so good to him.
I just like the fact that we're two weeks into school and he and I are still talking.
To kiss or not to kiss, that is the question.
He has soft lips. I ran my index finger over them earlier just to make sure. He asked if there was something wrong with them. I told him no, I just wanted to see if they were soft because mine weren't. He told me he didn't believe that mine weren't. Nothing was proven.
He makes me so happy. I don't feel like I should ever wash this shirt because it smells like him.
I am going to go have some dinner and go to bed. I will sleep on the question that I pose now to myself: To kiss or not to kiss?
Sleep on it, bitch.