done dj


I look very ghoulish lately. I sort of like it.

Funny story-- about ten minutes after this picture was taken a young man asked us for a ride home. We agreed to give him one as long as he was aware that I had a knife in my purse that was shaped like a lipstick that I bought at the Vallejo Gun Show, and I would use it on him if he tried anything funny.

I also took a photo of his ID so the cops would know who killed us.

Nothing happened, and I had no knife. I have never been to a gun show, in Vallejo or elsewhere, but it was pretty funny.

  • Current Mood
    amused amused
red water comes out

Hair Done, Nails Done, Everything Did-- You Fancy, Huh?


Pardon me, I will be simultaneously peeing my pants and having a boner for the rest of the month, and likely a good part of August as well.

Veronica and I were up until 3 am yesterday making these amazing Jell-O shots. There are around 70 of them in my fridge right now as well as epic booze cake.

-Raspberry-Blackberry fusion Jell-O made with vodka with a fresh raspberry in the middle.

-Cherry Jell-O made with vodka and a maraschino cherry in the middle.

-Lime Jell-O with sour mix and rum (margarita shot) with either a pear cube or a grape in the middle.

I have to get up early to finish the berry blue ones before work-- vodka and peach Schnapps with maraschino cherry.

Epic booze cake:

Strawberry jello made with vodka and creme de cacao, with vodka/rum-soaked raspberries, cherries, peaches, pears and grapes. That's the first layer.

The second layer is chocolate pudding.

The third layer is crushed Oreo cookies so that it has a sort of pie-crust.

It's topped with chocolate Magic Shell and whipped cream.

We're all going to get drunk and die of diabetes at the same time.

All this was in prep for the last big RM party before Kevin moves to Texas. We're all preparing to cry buckets. At least, the girls are. The gentleman are just going to be more irritable for having lost one of their own.

That party is later on tonight. I have no idea what I'm still doing up apart from the fact that I am psychotic with hormones and it is hotter than Steve Buscemi over here.

I need Vicodin. Again. It's amazing how quickly time passes. Just yesterday it was seven months ago and I was up six pills and doing fine. Now I have one pill left and delirious enough with pain to use it. Mental tug of war.

I am thinking of getting a hysterectomy but am terrified of sprouting a moustache after I do so-- and with the early-onset menopause caused by such an operation, I should do it in winter time when hot flashes are less likely to leave a horrific body count.

When Jimmie was leaving tonight, he said to our manager, "I'm leaving, you bald motherfucker."

I keep telling him I am going to make a Twitter just for the outrageous things he's always saying, but then he just yells at me and says, "YEAH RIGHT, YOU DON'T EVEN BE ON TWITTER!!"

That is very true.

Gundig bile mi suhwet!

  • Current Mood
    exhausted exhausted

Tasting The Top

Happy Birthday, Billy.

Oh, what a pretty foetus.

ETA: Riga is pregnant so if you want a baby kitten, speak up.

Also, Happy St. Patrick's Day.

aw jack.

No Not One Of 'Em Got Clothes!


Anyway, more illustrations of interests. Guess which!?!


  • Current Music
    Gin Blossoms - Til I Hear It From You
terminal bliss

Lovers Need Lovers

The Good News:

Today, it has officially been one month.

Happy anniversary!

Looking forward to many more.

The Bad News:

Riga is still missing despite all of the posters all over town, two trips to animal shelters, three trips to vets, and lots of walking all over calling for her. She's not chipped and her collar is break-away (got it so she wouldn't hang herself).

The longest she's been gone before is two days. Today marks her fourth day away from home.

She's not even a year old.

  • Current Music
    I Monster - Lust For A Vampyr

Five Years Is Too Long

i want to wish the happiest of happy birthdays in the whole world, ever, to the spectacular rae.


first of all, let's go over a few reasons why she is awesome and deserves this:

- she likes smashing pumpkins, booze, hot cars, knives and guys with big dicks
- she's an amazing artist with the best captions for art that i have ever seen:

'I use this drawing to guilt my boyfriend into having sex with me.'

'This person's head is shaped like a balloon because he is, as they say, "high"'

'I forget what made me draw this. Probably the japanese.'

'if anyone is interested, i'll take a pic that doesn't blow'

-she appreciates violence, especially girl-on-girl violence involving stairs
-she thinks 'the best boys in the world are the ones who light shit on fire'
-she has used the words vom, glam, and hella in her daily life
-she gets really pissed and fierce if you capitalise her name. it rules
-she occasionally smokes cloves, but her car smelled of newports <3
-she likes tits and ass, and as such, knows that it is nice to share hers
-she totally got it in with a guy named JAMES BOND
-she gave me my first ever firefly
-she rose again like jesus
-she has absolutely no shame and it is so awesome and refreshing
-she only wants 'the essentials' for her birthday
-she likes to ask how to say 'bookcase' in german when she's drinking
-she yells at people when they try to speak indonesian and it's funny

and now, for photos (some of which look weird cos I have no scanner):

That was us the first night we met. I'm not sure why we're sitting on the floor. We peed in the garden in tandem that night, and ran around the yard in our underwear. more first meetings should be like this.

The reason she is shirtless and laughing is a very awesome one.

please note and admire the 'fishtown' shirt and the 'nuts nuts nuts' and the saltwater taffy man. we were drunk on parrot bay that day, and she looks freaked out because we'd been on the ferris wheel and she thought she was going to die.


our first ever glam night together.

happy birthday, cupcake. i love you!!

  • Current Music
    6ths - Just Like A Movie Star

It Was The 'Plop-Plop-Fizz-Fizz' That Really Dazzled Them

My crazy 2nd grade teacher was way into gardening. I suppose that to someone older than a 2nd grader, that might have seemed obvious, with her framed oil-paintings of lillies and pressed flowers in shadow-boxes and her fancy vases of sweet-smelling blooms, but when you're a kid, you're oblivious.

Girls liking flowers enough to have them all over the place just seems like a normal thing that girls do. Even teacher-girls.

However, our teacher was vocal about her love of gardening. Whenever we were learning history, she somehow found ways to weave random botany into the lesson. Same with English and Social Studies.

That's fine-- but when we were learning about the human body (how skin is the actual biggest organ, even though it's on the outside and how that can be confusing) she went all Magic Schoolbus on us and started to get into sophomore-level biology. She spoke of cells and platelets and plasma and 'organic materials'.

I suppose midway through it, she became conscious of the fact that we were all either confused or drooling, so she decided to make it a bit more interesting by relating it to a gardening story.

Apparently, she lived on the same street as a doctor. The doctor in question, instead of disposing of bags of donated blood into the properly labeled biohazard receptacle, he would take them home and dump the 'spoiled' blood into the earth from which his roses grew.

"They were the most beautiful roses, his 'blood roses'," our teacher gushed, eyes shining. "I always wished I could have roses like that."

I think maybe she wanted to bleed one of us to death to help her garden, and only held off the urge by talking about the doctor's roses.

Ever since then, I have always wanted to get my hands on buckets of slaughterhouse blood, Carrie-style, in order to see if my morning glories and bougainvillea would come in stronger and prettier.

Teachers like that remind me of why it would be a bad idea to go after my credentials.

  • Current Music
    Faithless - Take The Long Way Home

Pick Guitar, Fill Fruit Jar

Yesterday I bought some pre-natal vitamins and my mom saw them. She was not happy.

Also, Banana Telephone Repairman.

A man that looked just like Vern Schillinger came into my work today. He was wearing a wedding ring.

Oh, me.

  • Current Music
    Hank Williams - Jambalaya