I put a spell on you, and now you're mine.
Sorry. Disney movies getting to me. That was a line from Hocus Pocus. Sarah Jessica Parker rules, and I don't care how many people tell me that she's too skinny or that she's annoying or has a horse-face, I love her anyway!
Anyway, I'm a very happy individual at the moment. The boat was taken out of the basement because they are doing something Frankenstein with it, and that means the basement is clear for me to rollerskate all night long if I so desire, and I like that. Rollerskating makes me say ah. Ah ah ah!!! Rollerskating in the basement spells happiness for me.
This one time I was in a car with Christina, one of the sexy individuals who accompanied me to Santa Cruz, and my stupid ex-boyfriend was in the car with us and we were listening to Beach Boys on the way home from Richmond, and we were all pretty cranky and cramped up, we were all sharing the backseat of this Corolla. Anyway, it had been a long night, we got to sleep at around 5.30 am and then we had to wake up at nine, pack our stuff, and be ready to leave. We didn't even get to sleep anywhere comfortable, because Christina's brother stole our spot in the upstairs room, so we had to sleep in this atrium that used to be an outdoor one until her grandparents covered it in glass, so we were freezing and we all woke up damp because it had been so cold that it was like when you sleep outside. Anyway, so that was the night we had, and we were all still kinda funk-da-fied from that, so we were just all really cranky, but were trying to mask it with contentment. So we were listening to the beach boys, and all of a sudden unsavoury Avery (the ex-boyfriend) mutters, "Man, I hate the Beach Boys." After that, Christina and I had a hard time believing that he was human. How could anyone who lived in California their whole life HATE the Beach Boys? Christina and I were practically breast fed on them, so we kinda hated Avery for the day, which was funny, because after the night we spent in the glass atrium we all went to Berkeley for no good reason, just to spend the day, the three of us. I got to test out my German skills on this man who spoke no English there and it was one of the dopest things, because I only speak a little bit of German, and the fact that there was understandable communication between us made me sehr froh.
Yeah. Those were the good old days. That was also the night in which I accidentally inhaled a bunch of lighter fluid and fell down the stairs, which was also a very funny thing, because I was carrying this huge plate of spicy nachos for everyone who was hanging out downstairs (where it was cold, and parallel to the glass atrium) and I slipped on some wet grass that someone had tracked in and found myself on my back, with the whole party (that's why we were all there, it was a big party, and there were about 60 people there) standing over the stair banister looking down at me, and all of the drunk people were laughing, and half of the women there were nurses, and they all thought I was drunk, standing directly over me asking me where it hurt. When I got downstairs with a few people helping me walk and carrying a towel, and people saying, "Be gentle with her, she fell down the stairs" the cold people were like, "Where are the nachos?" It was nuts, and then they noticed I had a towel and thought I was bleeding but actually I was just wiping cheese off of myself. There were cheese and chips all over the wall, all over my sweater, which wasn't even mine, I borrowed it from Christina, cheese everywhere.
Now, to all of you who were curious about the lighter fluid: the reason I accidentally inhaled a bunch of it was because Christina, Avery and I were trying to blow fire (which is possible if you hold a bunch of lighter fluid in your mouth and then blow it over a flame) and I was trying a bit too hard, and getting exasperated, and taking long deep breaths. With the fluid still in my mouth. I'm really glad I'm blonde, I have an excuse. Another reason I wasn't able to do it, was because at that party, I was to be the only sober one. I was telling Christina and Avery and Andrea that they shouldn't drink, and that if they did, I would laugh at them all night because I would be sober and they would be dumb. So, they thought they'd trick me or something, and they kept giving me these lemony Spanish drinks, and I don't speak Spanish, so obviously I couldn't read the label. It tasted weird and I thought it might be alcoholic, but they told me that Spanish lemonade just tasted different than American lemonade, so I must have had at least four. I didn't think anything of it. But it WAS alcoholic, so I guess the joke was on me. To this day, I still wouldn't have known, but there was an instance where I was talking to some party goers later and it slipped out that all of those drinks had been alcoholic. All the nurses who asked if I had been drinking, I had slurred to them, "Oh, no, no, I'm staying sober." But that's me. A dumb kid with Spanish lemonade.
Everyone else thought it was really funny, and I'm glad I can look back on it and laugh.
"If you laugh at yourself you will never fail to be amused." I think that's how that old saying goes. I like that mentality. It's amazing how negatively idiocy is looked upon, when, in fact, that it's something that sells movies tickets, makes hard situations easier, and sometimes, when it is not our own idiocy, it makes us feel better about ourselves.
Case in point: One evening long ago I was watching the telly with my mother, and a smoke alarm commercial came on. The commercial said the best way to be safe was to install an alarm on every floor, meaning every story of the house, and there was even a diagram. Then my mom says, in a very annoyed voice, "What the hell good would they do on the floor? Smoke rises!" I felt very good after that and couldn't stop laughing. She kept telling me to shutup, that it was an honest mistake. Honest or not, it was still DAMN funny. I do things like that also, and until she fails to laugh at my mistakes, I shan't fail to laugh at hers.
Idiocy at its best!