alecto - your little bluejay (pollytrance) wrote,
alecto - your little bluejay

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A Is For Amy Who Fell Down The Stairs

There are some people who just irritate the hell out of me. I won't mention names, but I bet it is becoming more and more obvious that I hate this particular person.

I hate a lot of people. I am an ugly, blackened person on the inside. But there are other people who are charred and ugly on the inside who have it coming! I mean, honestly. The spoiled brats, the ego-maniacs, the people who take everything personally. They have nothing to say to you except laying on a new guilt trip, telling you how great you are at doing bad things, backhanded compliments like nobody's business, condescension that would make your hair stand on end, selfish-ness that has no bounds, shit-talking like it's going out of style, violence in word and action, compassion-less, no knowledge of what real love is, walking aggravation, above all else, a self-important idiotic little twit.

All right? This girl must be stopped. And it's not Amy, like the headline would suggest. I'm just rather fond of Edward Gorey. And I am also fond of Amy.

How about this, as proof, compliments of Edward Gorey:

A is for Amy, who fell down the stairs
B is for Basil, assaulted by bears
C is for Clara, who wasted away
D is for Desmond, thrown out of a sleigh
E is for Ernest, who choked on a peach
F is for Fanny, sucked dry by a leech
G is for George, smothered under a rug
H is for Hector, done in by a thug
I is for Ida, who drowned in a lake
J is for James, who took lye by mistake
K is for Kate, who was struck with an axe (my personal favourite)
L is for Leo, who swallowed some tacks
M is for Maud, who was swept out to sea
N is for Neville, who died of ennui
O is for Olive, run through with an awl
P is for Prue, trampled flat in a brawl
Q is for Quentin, who sank in a mire
R is for Rhoda, consumed by a fire
S is for Susan, who perished of fits
T is for Titus, who flew into bits
U is for Una, who slipped down a drain
V is for Victor, squashed under a train
W is for Winnie, embedded in ice
X is for Xerxes, devoured by mice
Y is for Yorick, whose head was knocked in
Z is for Zillah, who drank too much gin.

I love that book a lot. I got it for Christmas when I was a sophomore from a girl who knew I loved it, but I never talk to anymore. Imagine that.

I grew up (ages 6-15) wanting to be just like Elvira and Morticia Addams, and I was never discouraged. Look what happened. Imagine that.

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