alecto - your little bluejay (pollytrance) wrote,
alecto - your little bluejay

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Being a Girl Sucks.

I'm very tired right now. I feel like watching this video that Lindsay made about chalk songs when she was really little. Genius I tell you.

So I'm in a sour mood. I'm feeling a bit low because I haven't gotten a phone call all evening (except from Josh, which was very exciting, but then I felt bad because all I did was bitch about what a horrible day I had), yet I did something that I never do, which was pick up my damn phone and call three people. You know how when you have a headache and all you want to do is take two little pills, and then you go to do that, but you have nothing to take them with? I'm a total pill wuss, I need liquid in generous amounts to swallow pills. Well, we have nothing to take them with but milk and soda. So what do I do? A) Take them with the milk and then get sick because milk does that to you late at night or B) Take them with soda and be wired and not sleep and then have another fabulous cranky day. I hate not sleeping, but I hate wasting time just the same. Anyone have any horse tranquilisers? Shoot me with one please.

Being a girl sucks because it makes me indecisive and self-conscious. How far is too far to go when you're a girl? When you're anyone? When do you draw the line? How can you tell if you're being a pushover or a lady?

Went back to school today. Wanted to shoot myself. Turned in some missing work, so maybe I won't fail ALL of my classes. Came home. Was exhausted. Couldn't sleep. I guess someone's doing me a favour by making the phone not ring tonight. Someone knows I need sleep.

Does it connote anger when someone types something and ends their sentences with all periods, or is it just a connotation of finality? Milk or soda? I'm so tired.

Does it ever scare you to watch someone staring motionless at something? People at skool noticed that I was gone. That felt very good, because some of them are people who I never talk to. Not because I snub them, just because there are no opportunities for us to have a conversation. I bet that's what it feels like to be famous. People notice everything you do, only you don't know their names, nor have you ever seen them before... but they know all about you.

Something sick: even if a person goes into the emergency room because they've tried to off themselves, the California government is so cheap that they won't put them directly into a mental hospital. They'll just send them home. Sick. Something has to be seriously wrong if someone's gonna try to do that to themselves.

I really hope Scooby Doo isn't on. I hate that show. It probably is though.

Off to watch Groove. I feel better now, but something is still weird.
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