alecto - your little bluejay (pollytrance) wrote,
alecto - your little bluejay

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Child Nitpick

My nail-polish is chipping
And my sanity is tipping
I'm about to break.

I'm so inspired,
Live-wired, tired,
I don't know how much more I can take.

I sit alone this night
Contemplating this fight
There's more inside me than you could know

I'm ripping up and out
You best watch out, boy scout
I'm thinking of letting it all go

My eyes are blank and drawn
I yawn my tired yawn
I drift back to the days of yore.

Things were simpler then
An endless cache of friends
And phone messages galore.

Damn you, you fat cow! That's my rent-controlled apartment and you don't deserve it one bit. Not at all! That's probably why it was bestowed upon you, though. You bastard child of humans and swine. You make me sick.

Everyone takes everything that I don't jump for and it makes me mad.

I love how Catarina just said that her mom knows everything. I don't spend enough time with that girl. She makes me happy.

Gah. They have to pronounce it all stupid.

I was thinking in the car today (ohmigod, is it possible? Katie... thinking?) and I realised that whenever I say things, I mean them... but I only mean them for that moment. I read old things I've written and my mom tells me stories of catch-phrases I used to use, and I know at one point I knew what I meant and I meant what I said, but I can't figure out what it was. Like "Tuna cakes, punchalynch!" I used to say that all the time.. ALL the time.. I remember saying it, and so does everyone else.. and I'm sure it meant something, and I meant it every time... but I can't for the life of me figure out what it was.

Another terminology that I came across that still stirs very strong feelings of understanding, but not actual understanding, is the term "reverse humans". I must have meant it then, because I claimed to be one, but I don't know what it is. Maybe I haven't for a long time.

Now that my year anniversary has passed, everytime I am bored, I want to get online and read a post from this day last year, because I think... "Hmm... what was I doing this day last year? Maybe I can do that."

Guess what? I am as looney, if not more, today than I was then, and it is of no help to read that old stuff, but I do it with an insatiable drive.

I am crazy. You don't have to hold it back from me anymore. You can be honest with me and tell me that you think I'm loopy. I used to think I was really sane, and no one could understand because they were never as close to the line of sanity and pure Zen than I was, except for a select few.

Those select few happened to be on drugs. I really am insane. It kind of gets to me. But on the other hand, I'll never fail to surprise/entertain/amaze/amuse people. And I suppose nothing in the world gives me greater joy than putting a smile on someone's face...

... and putting a frown on the faces of those who hurt me.

That's not very big of me, but I am big enough.

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