Check this out, direct quotes, guaranteed to bring lots of laughter into your life. Hey, it worked for me. This girl is effing awesome. And you can thank Ms. Hill, queen of German engineering for helping me do away with my use of the real 'f' word.
Anyway, Essa's genius:
"I had problems as a child, let me tell you. I misheard lyrics all the time...
When I was a little kid, I used to think that song, "Too Sexy" by those bald dudes named Right Said Fred was weird.
The reason I thought it was so weird was because I didn't know what the hell a catwalk was and so I thought he was talking about a cat box instead. I also used to mishear words a lot so that left for some very interesting lyrics.
Original lyric: "On the catwalk, on the catwalk, I do a little turn on the catwalk" (something to that effect)
My version: In the cat box in the cat box I poop a little turd in the cat box
Another one was the "Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary" nursery rhyme...
Let me just say...I was quite confused by the fact that Mary could grow goddamn TACO shells in her garden...."
Isn't that the most golden thing ever? Go congratulate her for rocking so hard.