alecto - your little bluejay (pollytrance) wrote,
alecto - your little bluejay

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It Tastes Old

The counter on my journal says I've had 1999 hits. That makes me excited.

I went and saw Signs for a third time today and it was just as good as the first. I went with my mom and she stretched the hell out of my sweater clawing at me during the scary parts. Heh. I love that movie. If it was a person, I would be all up on its back.

I am still enamoured of the director. I know his name. I just can't spell it out or say it aloud. He'll know. He's on the cover of Newsweek. I am getting a copy tomorrow.

A bit after I got back, Jessica called me and wanted to know if me and Stefan wanted to go bowling with her and Chris.

I called Stefan who was a bit surprised to be hearing from me, and he agreed to go. So we met each other there at nine and bowled three games. I took a blue Sharpie and wrote "Would you fuck me?" on the back of Stefan's neck. He was Buffalo Bill for the evening. We all chose bowling names, too. I was Moby, Jessica was Eminem, Chris was Kelley and Stefan was Master Blaster.

I was wearing a sleeveless shirt that I really shouldn't have been wearing, due to the hideous nature of my upper arm flesh, but I didn't really think about it too much. I've found that the best way to take my mind off of such things is to pretend that I am a movie star and whatever I am doing is part of a movie shoot. No matter what, the audience will forgive me for what I look like, because they will think I had to look that way for the part.

Maybe that's crazy, but if it gives me enough self-esteem to wear clothing in which I won't overheat, it's enough for me.

At the bowling alley, they were selling Hillbilly Teeth in the 50 cent machine, so I got some. As we got out to the car, I put them in and started saying vulgar things and licking my lips and asking my company if I was sexy, all in a Southern accent. Stefan was writhing in sick fascination and disgust, and laughing so hard that he had to clutch his stomach.

We went to Denny's and I told the waiter, still wearing the teeth and using the Southern accent, that we needed a table for four. I ordered my food this way and spent half the night lisping and talking about Jesus with those things in. Jessica was laughing, Chris was wearing a shocked expression, and Stefan was snickering to himself.

That was all I needed. Once I have an audience I pretty much lose all control of my actions. I will do practically anything to get them to laugh.

So Chris orders a basket of fries, and along with the fries comes a plastic bottle of Heinz ketchup. After he finished the fries, Jessica says in a deep voice, "It places the ketchup in the basket."

So I plop the ketchup into the basket.

She giggles and says, "It rubs the ketchup on its skin, or else it gets the hose again." I don't think she actually meant what she was saying, but she certainly got what she wanted.

I took the ketchup, squeezed some into my hand, and proceeded to smear it all over my face. They all started laughing hysterically.

After it started to dry and get cakey, I made Jessica come with me to the bathroom (while all the Denny's staff stared at my face) and wash it off. As we entered the bathroom, I asked her, "Am I the only friend you have that would do that?"

She replied through laughter, "Yes." This was one of the most satisfying things I could ever hear.

After that, we paid for the check and I dropped Stefan off at home. Through the course of the night I got lucky at some claw machines and won a stuffed baseball with arms and a cute face, Felix the cat dressed up as Pocahontas, and Moe of the three stooges in a bathing costume.

Now I am home and am curious to see how many DVD's I have accumulated. I will use a cut tag to spare you.

Alphabetised For Your Pleasure:

1) Cutting Edge, The
2) Dead Poet's Society (First DVD I ever owned)
3) Fantasia 2000
4) Fast & The Furious
5) Freeway
6) Ghost World
7) Girl, Interrupted
8) Goonies
9) Gummo
10) Harry Potter & The Sorcerer's Stone
11) Harry Potter & The Sorcerer's Stone (Special Widescreen Edition)
12) Hook
13) House On Haunted Hill
14) Moulin Rouge
15) Nurse Betty
16) Rat Race
17) Salem's Lot
18) Silence Of The Lambs
19) Some Like It Hot
20) Space Cowboys
21) Stigmata
22) Stir Of Echoes
23) Summer Of Sam
24) Thirteen Ghosts
25) Untamed Heart
26) Wedding Singer, The
27) Willow
28) Witches Of Eastwick, The

Those are the ones that are personally mine. We have a bunch of others collectively, as family property. None of those will go with me when I move out though.

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