|Sunday, January 13th, 2002|
3:00p - Typical Entry Full Of Bitch And Whine
Everyone is cleaning out their friends lists and I live in mortal fear of being removed. Juliet Bravo took me off earlier this morning. Apparently I am not amazing enough... HELLO? I COULD HAVE TOLD YOU THAT!
Anyways... this week has been utterly uneventful... except for one particularly eventful event... HA HA HA. Only Lindsay and I know about that though.
Yeah.. same boring every day drivel. Today when I opened up my friends page... I got this prompt from these people ... you know one of those sites that you take tests from and then post your results... I recognized the URL.. and it said, "Enter Your Name and Password" and then it said "FUCK OFF JOURNAL LOSER".
I'm not even like a member of that site... and apparently they don't like people in possession of live, dead or parajournals.
FDS, man. FDS. I'm going shopping at Michael's. I feel like a crotchety old harpy that needs to crack some skulls with her beautiful but useless oak and pewter cane.
Oh, and in my bed, there is only one side to wake up on, so seeing as how my mood sucks today, is the ONLY side the wrong side? I need to do some room rearranging.
There will never be enough time in a day to satisfy this harpy.
current mood: pissed off
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8:57p - Momma, I'm In The Slammer
I am now in possession of some black beads. I blew my $25 Michael's gift certificate today and boy did it feel good. I still think Michael's should have lower prices though. I want a bunch of Wal Mart's gift certificates for my birthday. Yes, yes, nice and trashy, just like me.
Because it was determined that I am Ameritrash, which is like Eurotrash, only not from Europe, from America.
I am Ameritrash because:
*I microwave things you are supposed to bake or cook on the stove
*I like bowling alleys, roller rinks, and laundromats (and wouldn't necessarily mind living in one)
*I listen to a variety of terrible music (all you gotsta do is ask)
*If my hair is gross, unruly, bad, or big, I'd rather just let it be gross, unruly, bad and big than be late for taking a shower or trying to fix it.
*I enjoy trashy American food, like Zingers.
*I've got the typical American obesity thing going on
*I wear blue fuzzy bathrobes instead of actual jackets
*I don't understand the meaning of colour-coordinate
*I use "being drunk" as an excuse to act slutty or stupid, even if I'm not really drunk
*I know a bunch of small-town tricks to cure boredom (ie, shopping cart wrangling, harassing rich bitches on camera, using racial slurs in a loving manner, etc)
*I've been to Andy's more than a couple of times, and have gotten Mya hooked on it
*I've got a pill shop in my room of old medications that I've given up and have resorted to giving them away (small town kicks?)
*I am a small-town (country?) girl and have sucked on plants like honey-suckle and straw before
*I wear shirts with beer logos on them
*I don't own any designer shoes OR outfits
*I actually like having sex
*I speak fluent ghetto
*I've faked ditziness in order to make boys think I'm an easy target, just to get their attention (and sadly, it's worked)
*One word: fishnets
*I LIKE big hair, even when it's not trendy
*I wear ripped clothes, whether in style or not
*I travel between different social groups like a diplomat because I am loud, obnoxious, and usually make stupid comments at which many people laugh
*I use profanities that would make truckers blush (as does Mya)
*More people know me by my nicknames (Red, Star, Phoebe, Hemlock Ava, Jane) than my real name.
*I've actually believed that the perfect career would be professional girlfriend (switching sugar daddies every now and then)
*I'm a veteran in a weekly girls' therapy group (thus: whore, crazy girl, trashy family, etc)
*Two words: Top Ramen
*I believe in the four food groups: Canned, Frozen, Instant, and Just-Add-Water.
*I dye my hair
*I wear at least four pieces of make-up EVERY DAY. (Mascara, liner, shadow, lip gloss, blush, lipstick, etc)
*I say "like" a lot more than a normal person should
*I love talking to people from other countries mostly because I love hearing their accents, not because I necessarily care about what they are talking about
*Everytime my friends and I go somewhere where we'll never see people again, we use fake accents and take on different names, just for kicks (KANGAROO, BOOMERANG)
There are a lot more traits to being Ameritrash than that, but those are some basic ones. Anyone else out there Ameritrash?
When I turn 18, I will TRULY be Ameritrash. Because I am going to buy a bunch of porn and just leave it laying around the house so that guests and my parents will be shocked and appalled. It will be right good fun. I am going to have a good cackle at my mother's reaction to it, especially.
I have to go back to skool tomorrow, and so I must write a piece on morals. I think my moral will be don't do drugs. That will be easy to write. And I should go in early to get a Shakespearean monologue established so that I don't fail drama. That would bite the big one. But I've got easy finals, so it's all good.
Sex and the City is coming on, so I gotta bounce.
current mood: all trashy like
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