May 21st, 2002


Hardly I Even Knew Him-- But He Had To Die.

Woo-hoo, babies. I got my Rasputina stuff in the mail today! I got the t-shirt, the perfume & two stickers. I wish I would have gotten a medium t-shirt, but I still have fundage from my last paycheck, and it will be all good.

Yee yee.

The perfume smells like this locket full of salve-like stuff that I found in my grandmother's sewing box. It's bitter with a touch of lemon, and definitely distinct. I'm going to put a few drops in a water-sprayer and douse all my clean clothes. It will be glorious.

I never knew that telephone cords had electricity running through them until I stuck the tip of my tongue on one and got shocked. It's a bit frightening, but a cool feeling, and a fun story to tell. I recommend it to all of you.

After I watched Home Movies last night, I went over to Concord and hung out with my homeboy Trent. That was fun, as always. We went to Denny's and got waited on by a sex offender, or so it seemed. He was nice enough, but he definitely had something to hide, and his name was Jason.

After that we went outside and smoked because I resumed that nasty habit while I was in Disneyland, and now that I'm 18, I can buy all of the tobacco products that I want. However, I find that I have zero cravings, and the only time I have them is when I am cold. They make me feel warm on the inside.

Then we went to the parking lot of the mall just to hang out. It was dark and deserted but somehow very nice. At around three am, we parted ways, and I drove to Benicia in the pouring rain.

I got to Stefan's house, and he wasn't answering the door, so I had to go and bang on his window. He slid it open and glared at me.

"You here by yourself?" He asked.


"You promise?"



So he lets me in, and I say, "Nice. Not 'hello'. Not 'how's it going'. Just, 'Katie, you're standing around in the pouring down rain and all I care about is whether or not you brought one of your friends to my house.'"

He said he was sorry and blamed his bad mood on his brother.

Then I went home and he called me and I don't remember what we talked about, but I remember him yelling and me telling him I was tired like twenty-million times before I actually got off the phone.

Then today he was a total wreck. He told me that he hates the fact that I can't understand anything about the way he feels. He hadn't eaten or slept in like two days. He also did something that he knows is one of my weaknesses, and that didn't help.

So me and him went out to dinner tonight, and I was still exhausted. I've been extremely exhausted for like the past three days and I don't know why and it won't go away.

Then we went back to his house and watched an Adam Sandler movie and there was peace.

There is peace now. I bet there won't be tomorrow though.

Lindsay called me from her work and asked me when I was going to apply. If I do, I so want in on the bonus she's going to get for referring me. That's right, they're giving her $50. I used to be just a cow, and now I am a cash cow.

Tyler is back, and he called me... I tried to call him back but was unsuccessful.

I still need to document the Disneyland trip, but only for my own sake. I will use the cut tag... maybe even make it private.

And the cat's out of the bag. Stefan knows what everyone else knew and wouldn't say. I need to call Mya.

You know how moths are drawn to flames?

In this scenario, I am a moth...
and across the street, there is a huge fucking bonfire.

  • Current Music
    Rasputina - The Vaulted Eel

Another Feather Over Here Professor


I just discovered something interesting.

Christelle has taken me off of her friends list...

The post in which she said that she was making her journal friends only had a lot of cryptic messages about how you have to be responsible and trust-worthy to be able to read her thoughts.

Does this mean I am a sneaky bitch and don't deserve it?

On another hand, there is the fact that she said, if you'd like to be a part of it, to e-mail her.

I neither e-mailed nor commented.

Is it merely a break-down in communication, or is it as I had suspected? Does she mistrust, possibly hate me? Should I write her?

If the reason I have been removed is because of a trust issue-- I really have nothing to say about that. There is absolutely no reason why anyone shouldn't trust me.

All of these questions just because of a little blue arrow.

  • Current Music
    Destiny's Child - Survivor


VasoFever: do you know how much more amusing the world would be if we added an 'x' to every word which ended in a vowel?
VasoFever: go would become gox... that's funny. be = bex...
VasoFever: actually, it's not that funny.

This is why you don't talk to me when I'm tired.

This is also the last song.

  • Current Music
    Garbage - I Think I'm Paranoid