|Tuesday, March 30th, 2004|
2:54a - "I'm A Prize, Not A Token"
Here I am, rock you like a hurricane.
I'm prepped but have no pep, know what I'm sayin'?
You've probably already seen these on Sophie's journal, but I figured, what the hell. I'm going to post them here anyway. Apparently, there is a contest in regards to people who are Ab Fab look alikes, and HELLO! Sophie and I are Ab Fab lookalikes, dressalikes, and actalikes.
( patsy and eddie goodnessCollapse )
Casey's passed out. I surprised him by showing up at one am yesterday and we spent all night talking and trying to sleep which totally didn't work so at around 8 am we got up and went out for food. We wandered around and eventually a cafe opened. We got food, promptly after which I got sick because I was not meant to eat food ever... another bit of proof that I was not meant to live.
I jokingly mentioned that we should get trashed in the middle of the day because it was so glam, and he remembered. We ended up at the liquor store at eleven am and promptly bought and consumed booze. By two pm, we were shitfaced and ended up calling some man named Jack Herer who is trying to legalise marijuana just so we could call him "Jackers".
We passed out and slept for about six hours and then necroholic called and said that he was going to come by to return my DVD. I was bewildered and could not find my socks, and when he came by my pupils were very large. We all went to The Box where I sat outside while my friends were inside having a gay old time and dancing and boozing. I met the girl who is completely in love with Casey, and she was very kind to me, if a bit stand-offish. After Casey and I went home, she called him up to tell him that she was a prize and not a token, and that she was not going to fight for him. She was very angry and called me "that weird blonde girl". Apparently, I am the enemy and I am to be hated and outcast although Casey and I have never dated, and are not currently dating. It irritates me that someone's jealousy can carry over to insulting ME, the girl that she got along so well with, particularly when I have never dated Casey, and neither has she. They have never had anything, no rules were set, and she is getting all bizarre and territorial as if their love runs deep. Just because I am a female, I am to be hated. That makes me angry. Why must two females always be enemies? That's why I love Sophie. She is never like that, and even when she is, it's never toward me.
My presence was resented by quite a few people, and that irritates me as well. They don't know me, and my involvement with any of them does not run deep enough to warrant remorse or ill-treatment. Trouble may be my middle name, but that does not make it alright to hate me, particularly when I am not a threat to anything. Like I said before: I am not anything to be jealous of. I am nothing special. I am fun in the moment (and sometimes not even then) and that's all. People waste so much time resenting me for things that they aren't even involved in that I wonder what the fuck they spend the rest of their time on Earth doing.
Drama is for middle school, and sometimes, for high school. I don't want any of it. Those mature enough to understand that people 1) make drunken mistakes and 2) that everything can be explained are the people who are the most pleasurable to associate with. When my boyfriend fucked my friend on my bed, sure, I was pissed. I was exceedingly angry, but I have moved on. He has not. He still gets so angry when anyone who has a penis enters our home, even if they are homosexual and/or just a friend and locked up in my room, not bothering or talking to him. People are insane.
Sure, I'm a moron and say stupid things and act like a twelve-year-old boy, but that isn't a display of my maturity. That's just a testament to the fact that I like to have fun and that growing up is only a small portion of life. If one kills their inner-child, they kill the fun essence of themselves, and that is not okay. Life is about savouring your moments, and being mature is not a requirement. It's merely a guideline that is fun to ignore. Maturity is over-rated and being a child is under-rated. Why not have fun with the small time that you are on this planet? Fun seems trite, yes. However, if there is not fun, joy, if you cannot make memories to curl up with in the cold night, what else is there?
current mood: cold
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