By 'tasted', I mean I had three glasses.
I associate laughter with operating a sewing machine.
Toss it like pasta, took a shower tonight and my hair is finally almost dry. Legs are all shaved and I am a goddamn smoove criminal. I have faith. I am inspired again, can write, I feel amazing. I don't know what it is-- perhaps the abundance of time I have lately spent with my parents where they are willing to shut up for me, let me sleep in the living room even when they are tempted to dominate the television, the fabulous friends I have-- it is all amazing.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASMINE!!!!!!
The blazing guitar riffs, distant strangers' smiles, and everything seems absolutely perfect. Everything is sassy and great and I have been able to meet and know and be touched by such positively luminous individuals!!
I am happy to meet and to see and to be and this really doesn't ordinarily doesn't seem like me. Also, rule no. 1 about living in Benicia-- never go anywhere without getting ready because it is inevitable you will run into someone you know. In my case? I ran into my fucking cousin (sans make-up and with fluffy I-didn't-bother-to-heat-style-hair) when I went to get breakfast this morning. I haven't seen that fool or his awesome Sepultura and Gwar-loving wife for around a year. He had just been to the daycare to drop off his little ones when I saw him approach the counter. I wanted to dash under the table and spy for a better look. Instead, puzzled, I called his name:
He looked over, "Katie??"
"Oh my god..." I said, and went and gave him a hug,
"What are you doing here?" he asked.
"Just awake and hungry," I said.
"What do you want? I'll get you breakfast."
I told him that I had already placed my order and it was fine, thanked him, and then congratulated him on his new band and told him about mine. He and Janet (his wife) apparently miss me and I was told I can visit whenever I want. I thanked them for the shirt they got me when they went to Hawaii, and he explained to me that the reason they went was because he finally wanted to experience outside of California. I realised he is in his thirties, and that was, indeed, his first time outside of California. He told me I was lucky for the opportunities I have had with travel, and that humbled me-- he being his age and telling me that. This morning was amazing.
Then again-- whenever one ventures out into the wilds of Benicia after having lived here for even a little while, odds are something crazy or severely and scarily coincidental will befall them on their short time out. What the hell? This isn't fucking Manhattan and yet the way people work around here makes it seem like it is so.
In other news, the goddamn roofers are back and making all sorts of racket. At first, I thought it was my roommates being jackasses and fighting in their rooms, but when I knocked on the door, there was no shocked, polite silence. It continued. Then, I realised, it wasn't coming from their room. I felt like a bitch. However, I am over it. I want to go up on the roof and be bitch GODZILLA so that they will shut up. There is nothing wrong with our roof. Go away.
However, with the presence of construction workers also comes the presence of portapotties, and for that I am thankful because I love those damn things. I want to get one and put it on my lawn and piss off my neighbours.
I realise that there are far too many things I have been forgetful and neglectful of and perhaps that explains the recent struggle for me. There was always beauty around me-- it never left, I was just blinded to it for one reason or another. I have to remember to watch idiotic, unrealistic, life-affirming movies (like Groove) more often so that I can know I am a sappy romantic and yes, beauty is everywhere and I am just being a bastard when I can't see it and get down about things. OMG PLUR and etc.
I think the reason why I liked The Butterfly Effect so much was because the main character blacked out all of the time. I was watching it, and saying, "Hey look, it's me." I laughed, I smirked. It's not funny that I spent about a year blacking out, but at the very least I am glad that it did not close me off and become my source of greatest shame.