My horoscope for today says I may eat some food. It's getting frighteningly more accurate by the day.
By the power of suggestion, we, as humans can brainwash our friends and loved ones to pick up embarrassing catch-phrases, such as Dio lyrics. It also helps to put lead in their drinks, and while this may seem like a bad idea at first consideration, that only means it is the best idea in the world because ... Shakespeare said so. My only love sprung from my only hate and all that.
You know it's bad news when your roommate approaches you, cookie in hand, steely glint in eye and asks you if you'd like one. I also apparently must watch out when I leave drinks around because they are determined to drug me. I also need a new drink of choice because apparently, whenever I say "booze" they hear "Bacardi Razz" which I suppose is all right because Bacardi is love. Did you know?
When people you care about are terrified of coleslaw, pickles, and fake cheese, this means you should wait until they are asleep and apply liberally. You should also write slander on their flesh with the use of permanent markers, and, if feeling especially randy, should shave one or more of their arms. I still want to go somewhere and put laxatives in someone's drink to be mean.
Since I feel like I want to post a million pictures but have none that are really of interest, I will use something old and say this: evil wears cat ears and emanates blue light.
Melissa and EVIL.
Also, I am putting myself up on E-bay.