Aaah. It was nice to get that off my chest. Now, for WHY exactly I was enraged (and still am).
Men and women these days.... they are making absolutely no sense. Maybe I am an old-fashioned harpy of sorts, but I honestly can't understand the fixation with fictitious characters. I think it is only right and natural to lust after something that is flesh and blood, not something that someone inked and painted. Not to say I haven't crushed on cartoons (Hell, I was in love with one of the ninja turtles as a child!) but damn, I lust more after people who have working parts that you don't have to bend and pose. People who aren't PROGRAMMED to talk to you, but have the ability to think and speak and breathe and sex. REAL people. People you meet on the street and give your phone number to.
AND ANOTHER THING:
This fascination with cartoons/animated characters/ anime girls ESPECIALLY gives men false delusions of what normal people look like.
So am I doomed to never have a man love me as much as he loves his anime? Would he curse me for my smallish boobs, my not-so-small waist, my anything but button nose? Is my neon hair the only thing cartoony enough to save me from a lifetime of alone-ness?
Or am I thinking that all men are very into aesthetics and that's where all my faults lie? It's fine for people to look and admire, but once you start fantasizing about one of the Sailor Moon chicks... throw all hope away. Real women do not look like that without a LOT of work, and considering that they were so perfect looking, not a lot of men would have a chance with them anyway. I'm not saying settle, I'm just saying be realistic. Check out the girls and boys who walk past you in real life, not who walk across your TV screen guarded by make-up and filters that make them so god-like.
STOP THE INSANITY.
And yes, I'm bitter. Very bitter. It seems that everyone in my small town can't accept what's around them and have dreams of moving to a big city and marrying some hot actress. (Big news boys, actresses kiss lots and lots of other boys in the name of keeping themselves actresses, and they will drop you like you're hot if you protest!)
Maybe it's more of a girl thing to accept what is readily available (the guys at work, the hot checkers at the grocery store, classmates, local musicians) and appreciate them for what they are.. flesh and blood and WAY more obtainable than a movie star or a cartoon hottie.
I'm far from beautiful, but still. I've got one up on those fantasy chicks. I'm here, and I'm flesh and blood, and my standards aren't sky-high. I work hard. I do my best to make other people comfortable and happy. I am REAL.
And to any of you who have been offended or made uncomfortable, my sincerest apologies.