Once upon a time when I was locked up at age seventeen I roomed with an artist and she told me I had a "50's cartoon face". Something like Hanna Barbera. When I basically responded "what the fuck?" she drew a picture that looked something like this:
My manager hates me. I am working too much and when I am not doing that I am sleeping or being sick. Or hanging out in Belmont and missing work because numbers to me are just mystical symbols that don't mean very much. Or playing Left On Calliope shows or going to the movies or buying inane wristbands or starting sentences with "or" even though I know it is all bad news or... something.
I think it is stupid when girls think it is cute or creative to be disgusting by belching, or saying things like, "corn in my poop" or "hair in my buttcrack" or "itchy cooch". One would assume these things occur, and one would also sort of expect certain males to be so alpha and tactless and frat that these things would be amusing, but ladies, really. We were once dubbed ladies for a REASON.
I hate it when people say "laundromat" like "lawn-dree-mat". I hate a lot of things. I hate the word that means the things that they sell at Subway and Togo's. I also hate people that bitch and moan about nothing in particular, and damn it all to hell, that is one of the things I am best at.
Everyone should read Ryan's manifesto because it is a relief for those of us who have some bizarre affinity for working around people, and also something like a crash course in etiquette for the Consumers Of America™.
Since there is little I can really share that is of any value without extended back-explanation, I shall give you this copy/pasted bit of an IM conversation, without which, the land of livejournal would surely perish because it it so wonderfully eloquent and makes so much sense.
VasoFever: That thing was just a quote I thought was funny.
Mr. Anderson: I thought it was Tom Cruise.
VasoFever: you're drunk
Mr. Anderson: machines
Now that I feel amazing, I also told sperenza I would give her stuff.
Thing for Sophie #1.
Thing for Sophie #2.
Dear Sophie, I am late with everything.
There is this game I like to play called, "Guess the thing". It's really politically incorrect, but I love it just the same.
For example, I would say something like, "Eats things." and you would guess that the thing was "Americans."
Or I could say, "Scalps things." and you would guess that the thing was "Native Americans."
We should all play this game sometime, it is amazing.
There is a minor named Kyle at my work who called me a bitch today because we played rock-paper-scissors for who got to take their break first and I won. I won two out of three. That's what he gets for being a minor!
I like playing games, obviously.
Dennis called me Chris Isaac because he keeps giving me these papers that I really hate, and I told him I didn't want to be a part of his sick, twisted game. But that's ok because some ladies with white hair were hitting on him and I got a laugh at his expense. When did I become so cruel and evil?
LoC had a dancer. It went over well. Some boys were gawking, and JLo finally came to see a show.
Since the cat is pretty much out of the bag anyway, I will be lending some dirty vocals to a disco project in the nearish future. If at any point you hear what sounds like a Subaru XXX collision with a bus full of Village People, it's probably us.
I have a mad crush on Darth Vader, but only from the original trilogy. I think it might be because I have helmet fetish, as well as old-man fetish and deep-voice fetish.
I spent Thanksgiving drunk with Stefan. I am thankful that he came over on his skateboard and we drunk-dialed a bunch of people and that I didn't have to bother with any fucking birds. I am also thankful that Stevie was home and I got to hang with him for a while.
I have a game called, "I have photoshop and I want to abuse it a whole lot."
This brilliant masterpiece is in reference to the Fantasy Gothic Waltz thing that we're doing in December.
Thursday, December 22
FANTASY GOTHIC WALTZ presents: GOTHIC WINTER WONDERLAND
Secret Secret - BloodWIRE - Left on Calliope
At Cherry Bar, 917 Folsom St. at 5th, San Francisco, CA
Also featuring DJs Robert Blaque and Femme Mystique, costume contest, vendors, etc.
Additional acts TBA
You should all play the let's fuck up pictures in photoshop game. Whether or not you choose to pretend it had a purpose is up to you.
My manager calls me "princess". Though, tonight she actually CALLED me to make sure I understood the mystical symbols.
"Urined" is the best word ever. Sometimes things that don't exist are the best ever!! Agent Smith anyone??
PS-- He touched it.
Goodbye, Mr. Miyagi.