Cos you see, baby... when you're lockin', you're losin'! And I'm out the do'.
Sorry-- too much En Vogue 1994 style.
So-- today is Tuesday and there is much to say. Last night Travis called me to see if we wanted to hang out Saturday and I went psycho on him and asked him what he was playing at and why there were all these mind games going on and all that crap and he ended up hanging up on me and driving over here. For the first 15 minutes he just screamed at me and tried to pry all the things I have been wanting to say out, and then I finally said them (I told him I went to the movies with Stefan even) and then we just didn't fight anymore. We just gave each other these big hugs and laid down and cuddled for a while and made it known that never again would we have half a chance to be good, but maybe could someday be friends, and then he left but there is still a standing invitation for me to hang with him Saturday before he moves to Phoenix, and I don't know if I will take it up.
After that, Lindsay and Stefan came over and at first it was all kind of awkward but then things eased up a whole hell of a lot and we watched the end of Nurse Betty. Then we watched the nuclear hamster episode of Zim and played hide-and-go-seek-in-the-dark.
Then when we ran out of good places to hide we decided that we were hungry and we would possibly go to Andy's. Then Lindsay did Stefan's hair while I tickled and bit him and we got all dressed up in '70's clothes and we put some eye-makeup on Stefan and then went to Andy's.
When we got there these people in the booth next to us gave us these flyers for this rave that had a disco theme called Studio 54. (I guess the '70's look really worked?)
Then we ate and paid for the check and drove around looking for cheap gas and listening to an eclectic mix of oldies, 80's, and cheeseball pop love songs. We got back to my house at around 4 am and decided to watch the Big Lebowski. We all huddled together on my couch under the super-suede blanket and watched for a while... and Stefan and I were still playing our little tickle-poke-prod game and eventually somehow we ended up holding hands and finished the movie like that. And Lindsay and I kept giving each other these looks of, "Oh my god, I can't believe what's going on!" because she KNOWS about all the SECRET STUFF. And then my cat got all up on the blanket and started farting and just smelled really bad in general. I don't know how something that small can emit such a foul odour.
Then it was time for bed at six am and we all decided that we wanted to sleep on the queen bed together, and Lindsay insisted that she have the edge so she could "be next to the alarm clock", (yes, I love Lindsay, she is always looking out for me) so I was all cosy in the middle. Then a little bit later when we were all trying to get Eli to calm down and I got a hold of his hand again, and we ended up falling asleep with his hand around my waist. If I was any more smitten I would be dead.
So then we all got up at ten so that Lindsay could make it on time to go to San Francisco with her aunt and so that Stefan could go to skool. Lindsay and I made coffee and she and Stefan drank it and got ready to leave. I kind of just wandered around my house... Lindsay and I discussed the girl secrets of the way everything played out the night before. She thinks it is possible that he might like me back. I hope so.
So anyway... before they left he gave me a hug. That has never happened before. In general, we've never been that touchy-feely... I've never hugged him at all before that... except a little one in the back room when we were trying to find Beetle Juice. But anyway, that made me happy because he was the one that hugged me... and tonight he said he was coming over again and we might have another slumber party.. but Lindsay will not be here this time :( ... but Mya might.
So yeah. Hooray for slumber parties. Hooray for hugs. Hooray for a boy who is nice to me and likes the car movie that I like. Hooray for a boy who wears eye-liner when we go out in public.
Such joy last night was. Lindsay was there and the three of us had fun acting like just a bunch of kids.
Yes. I could say that was another one that made me happy to be alive and 17.
Maybe tonight will be another.