alecto - your little bluejay (pollytrance) wrote,
alecto - your little bluejay

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Can You Help Me Remember How To Smile?

I talked to Lindsay this morning. Apparently she had a wonderful time with Robert and they are officially in puppydom.

Lindsay said that Nathan thinks I am adorable. Because he likes my laugh. She also says that he will never make a move on me because certain other people have staked their claim (claim? ugh) and because everybody knows that there is something between us.

The bad part is that there is no claim because there is nothing between us and half the time I think he likes me and half the time it feels like I am a nuisance. This could all be just me though. Actually, it is all just me. I am insane. This being called Stefan probably doesn't exist. Neither does LJ. It is just one big twisted dream and I have been in a coma and Uncle Henry and Auntie Em are saying, "Come on, Dorothy, any time now."

But here is the original purpose of this post: Stefan asked me earlier which Zim episode was on, because he missed it. I told him the Planet Jackers one, and he told me where he was. He was at Warren's helping them move stuff. He made twenty dollars. He said he made twenty dollars.

"Now that I got some money I can buy you a present." I can't believe he said that. I can't believe it. This whole weekend Lindsay has been saying, "I feel really bad because if you hook up, he's just going to be a selfish asshole and a lot like Travis." Then he says what he said. So I cry.

If I made twenty dollars I would put it away in the pay-back-Katie-for-Metropolis fund.

A couple of months ago, if he would have had money he would have bought weed.

Now he says he can buy me something.


I started crying and tried to call Lindsay. I told him to save it for himself. He said screw that shit.

And to think I was so furious with him last night that I wouldn't talk to him today, and then out comes the ace. I can never be mad at him because every time he does something infuriating he does something endearing right afterward, and it's never to make up for anything, it's all coincidental.

So are there claims?

All of this is such a drain.

I just can't believe he said that.

If he actually does get me a present I will probably have a nervous breakdown.

Such is life.

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