alecto - your little bluejay (pollytrance) wrote,
alecto - your little bluejay

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Come With Somethin' More Clever Than Just Your Name...

I don't like him anymore. I am sick of waiting for my unsurpassed worship to be reciprocated AND I wanna fuck Tiz Hiz's brains out.

Actually, I just want someone to make a dirty proposition to me so I don't feel so ugly and virginal. You'd think that I'd have gotten some by now.

It's been a month and a half. That is WAY too long.

Lindsay wants me to come to the seedy pa-y. She says that there will be boys. I don't care. I only want specific boys and they won't be there.

She needs to find a better clincher. Plus I am scared to party with Ameerah. I feel like if I do something stupid in front of her hellfire will rain down from the sky.

He took out his extensions. It's weird to see him without those long spidery black braids. His face doesn't look as gaunt. But my shirt smells like him.

He called Lindsay and said "hospitality." It was delicious.

But she is right in saying that I need to be less available. I don't want to go to that pa-y but I don't wanna be here for the weekend either.

I said to myself, "He won't call tonight." I get in the shower and the phone rings. I call back and he was LOOKING FOR SOMETHING. He called me just to see if I had his shit. And I didn't.

I gritted my teeth and said in my head, "Why did I call this fool back? He just wants something... for him. Katie, why do you let yourself do this? You're putty in his hands and it needs to stop."

Then he asks if I want to do something and I say, "Yeah, what time?"

I am SUCH a pushover.

But at least I convinced him to stop by Katie's so I could give her the present I bought her. That was nice. I love that girl. She gave me a picture frame that says "PLUR" on it. -sigh- To party. What fun.

I'm not even sure I wanna go to homecoming with him anymore.

I'm not even sure if he really wanted to go in the first place.

But I am too scared to ask him or to tell him that he doesn't have to.

I am too scared to tell him how I feel.

To ask him directly how he feels.

I can't be home tomorrow. He won't call, but I still can't chance it.

Ok, so maybe I do still like him.

But it would be better for my health if I didn't.

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