alecto - your little bluejay (pollytrance) wrote,
alecto - your little bluejay

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People Confuse Me

I really don't want to get married at any one point in my life, because right now I'm not sure if true love really exists and I don't want to be married to someone who I only kind of like. But anyway, that's not the point. The point is, on the off chance that I DO get married, I want my own room, and my own bed, and I want a lock on it (the room, not the bed). I know marriage is supposed to mean sharing, but unless my husband pushes two California kings together to make one big bed, and I get one half and he gets the other, and he never touches me, I'm going to demand that our house be a three bedroom. My bedroom, his bedroom, and the guest bedroom (which he will probably want to make his or mine seem as if it is one also if we do ever have company because they will think we have a twisted marriage but the truth is, that really, I'm very neurotic). But anyway, that's just something I was thinking about.

There's been something buggering me since last night but I am not sure if I have the courage to post it, but I swear I want to tell someone. Partly because it makes me feel kind of sick in the way it consumes me completely in fear, and partly because it makes me excited, and partly because it makes absolutely no sense. It goes like this: I've always believed that you can love more than one person at a time, and maybe that just makes me a sick and twisted individual, but maybe it's true. They say love knows no bounds, right? Ok, so ... I don't know how to put this in here without totally giving something away and I don't want to anymore. Just realise that people make absolutely no sense and neither does love or like or lust or anything of that nature. Ok fine, I'm going to put this in a scrambled up way so that it will only make sense to me but I've still gotten it off my chest. (Oh my god, look at that. Inner struggle in action.) Jan likes Jeff and Jeff likes Jan, but they know they are bad for each other so they stay apart. Jeff also likes Mary, has always liked Mary... but he tells Jan that he feels guilty for liking Mary because even though Jeff and Jan are not together, Jeff feels like they sort of are because he feels weird looking at other girls, and Jan says, "No, you're weird, just go for anyone you see fit." Maybe this is because she truly loves Jeff and only wants him to be happy. Maybe this is because she doesn't want to get a stress ulcer trying to compete with Mary. Who knows? I don't know. But I know of a situation very similar to that, and I learned of it last night and thank goodness it is now off my chest. I'm breathing one of those extra-good sighs of relief right now. Yay me.

I am so excited about Monday. Fi and I are going to get together and hang tight and it is gonna rule this Earth. Know what else? Tomorrow is a shortened day AND Space Ghost is on tonight! I love that show so much it makes me happy when skies are grey. You know what Double D told me last night? I was talking to him about how I was excited to go see Fidel and he said, "Which one's Fidel?" and I said, "You know, the one from Concord, the one I love to death!" and he said, "You love too many people to death. He acts like it's a bad thing. In the words of the Powerpuff Girls: "Love makes the world go 'round" That's a good song. I got it off Napster before they slayed the mighty beast and I should probably upload it and send it to everyone I know in emails. Heh heh heh. Shite. I just realised I forgot to do stuff all week long. Ok, I am now caught up on all the morsels that I missed so everything is all good again.

Why do I like cheesy British folk/pop? Damn all of that harmonica/guitar combo shite. But I could sing all of it. I could choke on it. I could make love to it even. And why do saxophones sound so damn dirty, especially when they have weird mutes on them? I'm just glad that the cello isn't a sleazy instrument. Sometimes I honestly believe that I am a reverse human. But that's ok because I know plenty of other reverse humans too.

And he's her big kahuna,
With plastic lei and all
And she is still his cheesy little
Dancing hula doll

That's my favourite verse of the song "Hawaii" by Bijou Phillips. That song will probably make you cry with joy. Bijou is a good girl. All hail Bijou and all hail the wooden bra!!

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