alecto - your little bluejay (pollytrance) wrote,
alecto - your little bluejay

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Pops Accurately

I had no idea today would turn out the way it has. I should never have gotten out of bed. I didn't go to school today, and I didn't turn in my independent study stuff either. Things were just too hard. I called Mr. Hansen and he doesn't care, as long as I come next Tuesday. I got a note from Mr. Greene (well, my mom got a note) saying that I have a D- and that I am in danger of failing. What else is new? I bet Mr. Heller and the girls in my group are pissed at me because I haven't been there. I feel bad, but things have been all too much lately.

My mom came home and had a heart attack because I didn't go to skool, and then we had to go to this therapy appointment that we booked like a month ago. I thought it would be all wood, but I was very wrong.

It was the most brutal session of my life.

She dug up so many details from my past that I wanted desperately to forget, or to at least think that I had forgotten, but they all came at me like someone had opened a flood-gate. I cried in front of this woman, and made my mother cry, calling back everything that was wrong almost ten years ago, whose visions are still crystal in my memory, and feeling stupid for being so haunted at the age of seventeen.

People can have ghosts at any age, given the circumstances.

Yesterday I thought I had finally come to terms with my ghosts, but today I was thrust into a dark room full of them, and I realise now, I am ready for nothing.

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