Is it just me, or does anyone else have those sorts of friends who never know exactly what to say, but they always know exactly what to do? In my mind, words are normally more valuable than actions [but there are always exceptions to the rule], so which do you think is worse? Someone who always knows how to act and what to do for you, or someone who has such a way with words as to guide you out of any sort of haze, daze, or confusion?
"Don't do anything to encourage her. She's already too full of herself."
I really need to get off meds so I can start writing again. I got inspired earlier, and I went to write it down... I got as far as, "My lit teacher once told me that, even in his old age, reading Ginsberg makes him blush" and that was that. It's ridiculous. I used to weave great webs out of nothing and it took such little time. Now I find myself struggling to write a palatable page.
I went to Michael's with Lindsay yesterday and found this utterly fabulous Harry Potter address book. It was royal blue velvet and on the front cover, "Harry Potter" was written in gold. I love Harry Potter merchandise because it's all old-skool castle-in-the-attic style, and magic looking. I even saw a mirror for sale that was supposed to be a miniature Mirror of Erised. Did anyone besides me ever read "The Castle In The Attic" by Elizabeth Winthrop, "What The Witch Left" by Ruth Chew, "The Talking Eggs" by Robert D. San Souci or "The Forbidden Door" by Merilee Heyer [I know books are supposed to be underlined, I don't care]? Those books fucking ROCK! Magic is one of those things that is awesome to the core, through and through, and yet we only see little glimpses of it in our lives on very special occasions.
I highly recommend "The Talking Eggs" though. That book made my whole childhood. It was sort of set up like a Cinderella type deal. There was this poor, gold-hearted, young black girl who lived with her evil mother and evil sister. Anyway, this young girl's name was Rose, I think and she ended up having to go into the woods to get some water because the water that she already got for her mother and sister was too hot. So she went to the well and she met this crotchety old lady who couldn't get any water for herself. So Rose used her bucket and let the old lady drink from it, and the lady was like, 'Well, I see you're upset about your predicament at home, so come stay with me for the night.' So Rose goes with her, and all sorts of cool magical shit happens. I won't spoil it, but it's so damn awesome!! GOD! That's one of the best books ever. I need to go dig it out of my book boxes in the garage, along with my Beatrix Potter Treasury [did anyone ever read Beatrix Potter, you know, Peter Rabbit?] and Grimm's Fairy Tales.
Lindsay, if you ever read this... you know how you called the Little Mini Hookers "Tiny Little Hookers"? Well, fret not my friend, because the other night, Gunnar called it "Little Leprechaun Whores". Which made me wish you didn't have a phone curfew because I would have called you just to tell you that. The way you called me from Sac. just to tell me Naughty Nurses.
Goddamn it. When I started this thing, I had a point but it's lost now. I think I am delirious. I want to make myself an orange-banana but the blender is too loud and my parents would kill me.
All I remember is that Jeremiah was a bullfrog. Everything before "I Love You" doesn't count. Men may have discovered fire, but women discovered how to play with it. I think I already said that. But I'm saying it again. Happy kwanzaa. I need to call Rebecca because I love her.
Oh yeah, and if any of you have any bad jokes, leave them in my comments box. I am gonna make a jokes page on my website to go along with the pick up lines page. If anyone wants to be the ringmaster of that page and have their picture up on it, just tell me! I already have a few people in mind that I would love to be the ringmasters. Judy Mayfair is the ringmaster of the pick-up lines page.
Here is an example of the kind of bad joke I am talking about:
Q:What did one cigarette say to the other?
A: Take me to your lighter.
Ha. Tell me some jokes. I love you.